What I Wanted For My Birthday

Here's a simple list of things that I wanted for my birthday. I got none of them, but it's the thought that counts. I suppose that the simple thought of these beautiful items is not the same as the real thing though, but please, try to explain that to my Mom. If you'd like to know how the gift giving portion of my day of birth was spent, it went a little bit like this:


Mom: "So what do you want for your birthday?"


I can't say I was very surprised. But the fact that I got actually nothing is worse than getting, say, a rock. A candy bar. A dollar. In fact, I would have taken the candy bar as coming out ahead. Hit me up with a Reeses and I'll forget the fact that you only got me a Reeses.


1) A Stereo For My Room
What it is: Logitech X 540 5.1 Stereo

A beautifully crafted piece of listening equipment solely for giving your ears a party. I want it to sit in my room with all the speakers pointed at me so I can listen to my music without caring and/or hearing anyone else. Why are the neighbors yelling at me? They want me to turn the music up. 


Why I didn't get it: Neither Renae nor Steve asked what I want
Until, of course, 6:00 on my birthday. So I never got the chance to tell them that this would be a nice gift on my 18th. I guess the 100+ price tag is also a bit ... ahem... modest. But please, what are they gonna do with that money instead? Unless it is going in the Bear-Fighting Fund of Bethel Park or towards either of my other presents, I really don't see the big deal.


2) A Laptop
What it is: Literally any laptop, even this 27 Pound MacBook Brick

While I don't particularly want this heavy machinery, really any laptop will do. If I can pretend to be a DJ, artist, or know-it-all on the thing, I would have used it. How else am I going to watch videos of Justin Bieber, make fun of his fans in the comments, and secretly love him at the same time, in the comfort of my bedroom? All I'm asking is that I have a simple, safe place to recede into a lifetime of eating and exercising only by getting up to go to the bathroom. If that.
Why I didn't get it: Why I didn't get the monstrosity you see before you is probably because they would only be able to get it into my house by knocking out the back wall of my residence and then gently setting it onto the floor, which would then gracefully give out. But why I didn't get any laptop at all is beyond me. Maybe my parents think I should only start my slow decent into 400-poundery after college, instead of before. It is no secret that I want a laptop; somehow though this knowledge transformed into getting me a rundown desktop with the OS Windows 2000. If you do not have the privilege of knowing what Windows 2000 is about, it's basically designed to give you the worst experience on a computer that you can imagine.


3) A New Phone
What it is: Verizon Cell Phone

It is pretty self explanatory. It is a phone that is not the one that I currently own and operate. My device now does about half the things that it is supposed to. I could have even gotten the same model of phone; I love the Alias 2. A droid would be much appreciated, as would many of the other models currently offered.
Why I didn't get it: I guess Renae has not yet realized through my many complaints that I actually want a new phone. Me saying that the keyboard does not light up anymore and that the plastic is coming apart is apparently hindering the transfer of words from my mouth to her ears.


What I Got Instead:
Nothing. A question, followed by a 4 hour band festival indoors and preceded by 5 hours of Standardized Testing.
Happy Birthday to me.