"You don't know this yet, but your head will be crashing into the seat in front of you in approximately 2 minutes!"
Also, this lady likes to play a little game called Death Via Speed Bump, in which she catapults children in the back of the bus as high as she can by going over speed bumps at well over the recommended speed. If the speed limit is 15, Alice is probably going 30, just to make this game more fun. I suppose there is a ranking between the other bus drivers. Maybe a fantasy league and some DVSB brackets at the Bus HQ. At the rate Alice is going, she has to be in first, and if not, I'd almost be insulted for her.
Realistically though, there has not been one single bus driver in my 13 years of public schooling that has been a rational operator of vehicles. One thought the yellow thing on wheels was a type of airplane, apparently, and one clearly thought that going as fast as the speed limit or being in a 50 foot radius of other cars was punishable by firing squad.
This picture was taken moments before the driver had a panic attack because of reaching the cursed speed of 21 miles per hour.
As if the bus driver would be the worst part of riding the torture chamber also known as the bus, alas, no. It doesn't fail that there is at least one absolute nut on your bus. And these types always seem to sit right by you, so you can hear them muttering to themselves about the allergies to snow that are currently afflicting them. A certain word or phrase can set them off into a rant or a song, most likely.
Girl with the beef jerky: "DID SOMEONE SAY COMPLIMENTARY ANGLES?"
Good thing I drive to school most of the time. I hate having to burst into Nicki Minaj lyrics every time someone says, "Peanut butter and jelly Uncrustables."
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